If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize