u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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