My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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