nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
