Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
