Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize