I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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