i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
