Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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