this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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