How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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