May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
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I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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