She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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