i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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