And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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