You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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