College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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