Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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