I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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