it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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