went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
