I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
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well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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