idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
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Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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