get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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