I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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