honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize