My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
