y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize