Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
