I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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