Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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