The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
