she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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