We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
