Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
