I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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