Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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