And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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