I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.