i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.