Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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