The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
