Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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