I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize