I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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