This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?