I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...