Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
