sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.