Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he just fucked me for my cheese..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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