Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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