I think my fart just growled at me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Your penis caused this!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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